Kanpur Chachi

We all come across different kinds of people in the world. Some simply come in our lives for sometime and go forever. Some suddenly come and stay forever. And some are interesting- whether they stay in our lives or not, they have a huge impact on our thought processes. 

Today I am going to write about one such lady from Kanpur, whom we call Chachi!

Chachi is our back door neighbour from Kanpur. We share a common wall with their family. A huge family of I still don't know how many people. A limited space of their plot converted into further limited space by multiple divisions among multiple people. In this arrangement, Chachi's family gets a very small kitchen, a small room and a bathroom on the ground floor and a room and terrace on the top, third floor. They have a very interesting arrangement of carrying things upward and downward- a typical desi jugaad of a rope with a strong cotton bag that is faster to reach than stairs.

I first met her at our wedding in Bhopal. She came with her husband, Chacha; they came to attend our wedding like dotted neighbours. My first impression was of a typical traditional UP couple. Chacha with a typical sense of pride that showed on his curved stomach and an eternal smile for no reason. Chachi with a little gaudy sari, expression-less expressions, striking sindoor and a traditional ghoonghat that somewhat added to her charm and also somewhat hid her real beauty. 

When I first went to Kanpur after marriage, Aai and me went to visit them. I was amazed by the way she arranged her small part of the home- partly downstairs and partly on the top. The kitchen could hardly accommodate two people- only one on the platform. But the taste of huge kachoris and delicious raita she made is still lingering in my mouth. A doted wife and a mother of two tall and strong sons was by far the most amazing person in that house. 

Her words are usually simple when you converse with her. It displays the simplicity of her own small world. A humble background of Gwalior and a constant struggle after marriage did not show on her face. It had no wrinkles. Her expressions is what always catches my attention- they are usually blank. But after spending sometime with her I knew its not blank expression, she is constantly studying and accepting you for whatever you are. Whenever I meet her I touched her feet like a doted daughter-in-law and what she did was really overwhelming (what most of Maharashtrian Kakus also did not do). She always (till date) hugs me with small hands and huge heart; welcoming and more importantly accepting me. 

After visiting Kanpur many times, suddenly in one trip I came to know her hidden talent. The always soft heart that made very soft yet strong hands turn magical when she sculptures. She made these out of the world (and full of expressions:-)) sculptures of Radha Krishna. They were kept as idols in the temple of the premises. They were so heavenly and full of love, that people poured water, milk and all sorts of things out of the love that the idols invoked in them. This eventually made her bring them in her house. They now form a part of the only striking decoration of her small heaven. 

Now her sons have grown up and she has become very smart (not in the sense street smart). She socializes. This time I went, she showed me so many photos of her in the ladies club of Shivaji Bhavan. Her unique blend of innocence and smartness made her win the competition of Sawan Queen. Dressed in green sari and decorated with the crown of the winner, she had her expression-less smile but with a tinge of confidence this time! Now she has moved out of kitchen and entered the world of friends and mobiles. But what still stands out is her simplicity and transparency. 

The winners were asked the question "Are daughter-in-laws like daughters?" (Not the same words but similar). To which her winning answer was- "First we need to be mothers before expecting daughter-in-laws to be daughters." Knowing her transparency, I am sure she will stand by her words and welcome her own daughter-in-laws with the same small hands and huge heart! I always will wish her best and bow down to her simplicity!